How to Write an Obituary
The Obituary Should Focus on the LifeKey Takeaways
- An obituary does two things: it announces a death and celebrates a life. The best ones do far more of the latter.
- Writing one while grieving is genuinely hard — it’s okay to ask for help, take your time, or use a tool like our AI Obituary Writer to get started.
- A good obituary reflects the person’s personality, relationships, and the moments that made their life unique.
- Obituaries also serve as lasting historical and genealogical records — the details you include today may matter to family researchers for generations.
- Once written, consider submitting it not just to local newspapers but to publications connected to the places and communities that shaped your loved one’s life.
What Is an Obituary — and What Should It Do?
An obituary serves a practical purpose: it lets family, friends, and community members know that someone has died and provides details about services. But a well-written obituary does something more. It captures who a person was — their relationships, passions, accomplishments, and the ways they touched others’ lives.
Award-winning obituary writer Jim Nicholson put it best: what his obituaries were doing was “celebrating life, not death. Death is incidental to the story. If you took the phrase ‘died on Tuesday’ out of the story, it would be a feature — a human-interest feature about a hell of a nice guy or girl.”
That’s a worthwhile goal. Don’t just record a death. Tell a story.
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Answer a few questions about your loved one, and we’ll create a meaningful draft you can edit and make your own.
What to Include in an Obituary
Few people can be fully objective when writing about someone they love — and fewer still have the emotional bandwidth to do it well while actively grieving. It’s one of the reasons we built our AI Obituary Writer. You don’t need to start from a blank page.
There’s no single right way to write an obituary, but most meaningful ones include a combination of the following:
The people in their lives. Spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and close friends. Don’t overlook the people who may not be “official” family but who meant a great deal.
Significant life events and dates. Birthdate and place, marriage, military service, education, and career milestones all help paint a full picture.
Accomplishments. Professional achievements, community involvement, awards, or anything the person was proud of.
What made them them. Hobbies, passions, beliefs, and the small details that defined their personality. Did they never miss a grandchild’s game? Did they make the best pie in the county? These details matter.
A photo. A picture brings the obituary to life and gives readers a face to connect with the story.
Obituaries As Historical and Genealogical Records
An obituary written today may be consulted by family researchers decades from now. With that in mind, it’s worth including details that might seem minor now but carry real genealogical value — a mother’s maiden name, biological parents as well as step-parents, and extended family members like nieces and nephews.
Whether to include a divorced spouse is a personal decision for the surviving family. Some choose to acknowledge the former spouse as the mother or father of the deceased’s children, which can be both accurate and gracious.
Where to Submit an Obituary
Most obituaries are submitted to the deceased’s local newspaper, but consider casting a wider net:
- Local papers in towns where they once lived or grew up
- Trade journals or professional association newsletters
- Alumni publications from the schools they attended
- Community or religious organization newsletters
Many publications now offer online obituary submissions, and some charge a fee based on length or the inclusion of a photo.
Contributors:
Rick Paskin CPA, Managing Director and former funeral home and cemetery executive.
Molly Gorny MBA, Director of Digital Marketing and author of 100+ funeral industry articles and blog posts.
Last Reviewed and Updated by Molly Gorny: 05/21/2026
