Attending aunt’s funeral?

7 years, 3 months ago

I just found out my aunt last of my fathers family passed away from Alzheimer’s. The service is being held 2 hours away from where I live. Although I like my aunt and her adult children I never really had much of a relationship with them as my other siblings did large age gap between us. My situation is I do not currently have a vehicle and intermittently get to share my husband’s vehicle when he’s not using a work vehicle. It’s hard for me to know when I can and can’t use the vehicle based on his schedule. That being said I don’t know if I can attend the funeral. And don’t want to seem disrespectful if I do not attend. My mother just passed away two months ago and all of my aunts children/ cousins came to her service. At my mother service they all acknowledged me and said hello but for the rest of the day never interacted with me but they did with my siblings of whom they had a relationship with. So basically my question is I feel guilty if I can’t attend but I don’t know what to do what do you suggest other than the obvious sending flowers and a card? Will I look disrespectful?

Jennifer Lane
7 years, 3 months ago

Would it be possible for you to attend a visitation perhaps, if there is one prior to the funeral service? Or, is there anyone near you that is going that you could get a ride with? Another option would be to rent a car just for the day to get to the funeral.

Consider those, and if none are possible then sending an appropriate sympathy gift is fine. You may also want to call one of your cousins just to at least by voice, convey your condolences and explain your absence. That should head off any potential perceptions of disrespect if you anticipate this is how they would react. Every family is different, though, and it’s hard to assess if they would be upset with you so go with your instincts here.

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