2 years, 8 months ago

I have a question regarding a plot. A man who golfed with me a couple times passed died in a very unexpected and tragic accident about a year ago. I didn’t know him very well, and I’ve never met his family. I didn’t learn of his passing until a few days ago. However, he really made an impression on me. I feel so terrible for never connecting with him more. He really was a great guy. I went to the cemetery
a few days ago to visit his grave, but he doesn’t have a permanent marker. Just a framed temporary sign from the funeral home. I was surprised as he had passed almost a year ago. I called the funeral home he was in care of and asked about it; they told me that no stone marker had been ordered. The cemetery states that they can remove the temporary markers after a period of 180 days. And the lady at the funeral home said sometimes the frames get chewed up by the lawn mowers. The stone memorials are very expensive – almost $1,000 for a flush stone plus a $200 fee for placement, etc. I would be honored to pledge the cost of the memorial, placement, and fees for the family. I would like to know if, and how, I could do this respectfully. I would also like to remain anonymous.

Jennifer Lane
2 years, 8 months ago

How incredibly kind of you to want to help the family of a man who clearly left a lasting impression on you in this way. The best path to get your question answered (and still try to remain anonymous) is to inquire at the cemetery where the gentleman is buried.

Most cemeteries require the property owner’s permission to place a marker on the grave, so the family will definitely need to be contacted for that reason, plus they should also be able to decide what style and text goes on the marker. Perhaps if you explain to the cemetery your intentions, they will hopefully be willing to a) give you an idea of the actual cost of a marker, foundation and installation costs for the various styles they will allow on the grave, and then b) contact the family to let them know an anonymous offer has been made to purchase a permanent memorial for their loved one’s grave, then handle it from there and simply send you the bill to pay.

We certainly wish you the best in this effort and hope the cemetery is willing to help you do this and remain anonymous, if possible.

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