Attending the burial and luncheon

9 years, 3 months ago


My wife’s first cousin on her mother’s side just passed away after 54 years from cancer. I have no problem with attending the funeral and the church service. My wife wants me to also attend the burial and luncheon; but I am not sure about attending because I barely know the deceased nor her family. I’ve only meet them 2x. I don’t feel right about being at the burial because it is traumatic for the immediate family and then to have them pay for my meal when I barely know them also doesn’t seem right to me. What would be the proper etiquette in my case? Thanks for the advice.


Jennifer Lane
9 years, 3 months ago

Hi Rick,

Will your wife also be attending the burial and luncheon? If so, then it is proper for you to attend with her. I would focus on being there as a way of showing your support for the family during this difficult time, and certainly your wife would appreciate you being there for her sake.

I understand the uneasiness in feeling like you are adding expense to the family by attending the luncheon (the cost person is usually not over $10 per person), but the priority in these situations is doing what is helpful or brings comfort to the grieving family. Since this is your wife’s side of the family, I would definitely recommend that you attend with her especially if she wants you there.

I hope this helps, and my condolences to your wife and her family on their loss.

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
View More Funeral Etiquette Questions Attending a funeral luncheon

How Much Will Your Funeral Cost? Try Our QuickPlan to Find Out.