Funeral Thank You notes – Question on POV/How to refer to lost loved one

6 years, 10 months ago

I am writing funeral thank you notes on behalf of my mother, my sister and myself.  I am having trouble writing some of the notes to individuals who know us on a more personal level for perhaps a silly reason – mainly because they will recognize the handwriting (or at least know it is not my mom’s). I obviously referred to my dad as “Dad”, not by his first name.  Should I refer to him by his first name, anyway, since the note is from my mother, as well? (i.e., “We appreciate your contribution in John’s memory” – I feel a bit silly doing this) Or, is it okay for me to use “Dad”?

My father died rather young of early-onset dementia – my sister and I (both in our 20’s) don’t have much experience with this sort of thing so I am probably just overthinking this, but I am truly thankful in advance for any advice you might be able to offer.

Jennifer Lane
6 years, 10 months ago

First, I am so sorry about the loss of your dad.  I know from experience myself that losing a young dad is hard to handle, and you are doing a great thing by helping your mom with the thank you notes.

When you are writing one to people who know you all very personally – you simply speak from the heart. You are fine to say “Dad” instead of his name because you are writing the note.  The friends who receive it will not put any thought into it when they read “Dad” rather than “John”.

I hope that helps, but you can find a few additional tips  here:





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