Viewing the deceased


5 years, 8 months ago

Hi my lovely 44 year old auntie passed away suddenly and had to have lots of tests on her body after death, so it was 4 weeks later her body was released so we could then start arranging her funeral. Obviously my family are very saddened of this wonderful lady suddenly gone out of our lives and as you can imagine my uncle has lost his beautiful wife so they let him see her after 4 weeks which seems along time after death? But no one at the funeral directors warned him how her face had deteriorated so much even after being embalmed she looked horrendous that now he has this awful image of his beautiful young wife forever. Why did anyone not not warn him? Have they got an obligation to warn anyone who views the deceased of the deterioration they have? Thank you, hope you can answer this distressing subject.

Jennifer Lane
5 years, 8 months ago

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved aunt. This is quite hard to deal with under normal circumstances but your family has really had an extra burden with the delay in having her funeral.

I am very surprised that your uncle was not properly informed and prepared for how she would look. Four weeks is a long time after death and even the best efforts of a funeral director would not give her the same look as though she had been embalmed right after death.

I do understand how very distressing this was for your uncle, and I am sorry he wasn’t prepared for it. The funeral director should have absolutely cautioned him especially considering the circumstances that caused the delay in preparing her for burial. This is worth speaking to the manager at the funeral home to let that person know what happened and how it was very distressing to your family.

You can help your uncle now by helping him to focus on the beautiful life that your aunt lived. Allow him to grieve his loss at his own pace, and just be there for him. Look at pictures and talk about your good memories – that will help him to focus more on how she looked during life rather than how she looked after death.

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