My mother died unexpectedly and myself and sisters are planning memorial for one month after. We received text from mothers friend about celebration life service. How do we handle a friend making plans and reaching out to our mothers friends? The memorial is small but open to close friends. This lady was not on the list but her list included many that we were about to reach out to about our memorial service.
I am very sorry for the pain of losing your mother so suddenly – that alone is so tough to handle and we wish you and your sisters peace and comfort for the days ahead.
As for your mother’s friend – it sounds like she started planning this celebration of life service before she discussed it with you and your sisters. There is nothing wrong with having more than one service with different guest lists even if some people are invited to both. However, since your mother just passed and you have not yet had the memorial service for her this person should not have done this without asking you and your sisters first.
I think the best thing to do at this point is to call her and simply ask her to hold off on her plans (don’t send the invitations) until you have had your private gathering to honor your mother. (I assume your plans have been announced to those included.) I wouldn’t worry about the people who will be invited to both services – these were close friends of your mother’s and will certainly be there for you and your sisters as you deal with her loss.
It sounds like your mother was a wonderful person to have so many friends who want to celebrate her life, and I hope that will also bring you comfort knowing she was loved by so many.