Jennifer Lane
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The funeral home does need your authorization to cremate, so they are correctly requiring your signature to do the cremation. However, that is completely separate from agreeing to be financially responsible.
In general, the funeral home would create a Statement of Goods and Services Selected contract that itemizes all the services and merchandise your family selected for your father’s cremation. The cremation charge should be listed on that contract, and that is what they expect to be signed by the financially responsible person.
It sounds like your sister is the financially responsible person, so there is no need for you to sign any “payment agreement forms”. You should be able to sign the cremation authorization without signing anything else. You should never just “sign all the forms” without being sure of what you are signing. You do have consumer protection rights under the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule.
If are you are not local to be able to go the funeral home, then I would recommend that you call the funeral home again and ask to speak to the manager. You do not need to sign to authorize payment in order to sign as a next of kin for the cremation when your sister has already done this.
I am very sorry for the loss of your father, and I hope this gets resolved quickly without adding additional burden to you or your sister at a time when you are grieving.
Yes, and the funeral director and/or a funeral attendant would be present to greet people (and also since the deceased is still in the care of the funeral home, they will not leave the deceased unattended.)
The time when a viewing or visitation is most commonly held in a church is when the viewing is the same day as the funeral service that will also be held in the church. However, the church can be used for any day of the visitation if the church is a available for the day and time needed. Also, be aware that there may be an additional charge from the funeral home to provide transportation for the deceased to and from the church if there are viewings on days other than the day of the service.
No, these are always two separate products. For cemeteries that require burial vaults (most of them do) the vault is installed in the ground just prior to the interment to receive the casket at the time of the interment.
The best I can do is give you the standard grave dimensions, which are usually about 2 1/2 feet by 8 feet. I would suggest that you consult with an engineer who could layout the acre in a way to provide the most burial spaces.
With cremation, there are many ways to handle that from burying an urn in the same grave as a full body interment to having a separate area with smaller grave sizes. An urn vault can be up to 15″ long by 10″ wide, so you need cremation spaces large enough to accommodate that.
I am very sorry to hear about your dad – I certainly know that is tough to deal with.
As for your question, since your dad was cremated, I see no reason why you couldn’t divide his ashes and bury them in two places. Your aunt will have costs not just for the grave she is purchasing, but also for the interment of the ashes. She will need to check with the cemetery there to see what they require, as they may also require an “urn vault” (outer container that the ashes would go into for the burial.)
Thanks for submitting your question but that’s out of our area of expertise. We specialize in helping people with funeral etiquette and funeral planning questions.
However, you can use our search directory to search for a casket supplier and that may give you an idea of how they do business. Or, you might try contacting your local Small Business Administration office to see if they can point you in the right direction.
Best of luck with your new venture! Once you get your business up and running, feel free to come back and register with Funeralwise as a Preferred Provider.
I am very sorry for the pain of losing your mother so suddenly – that alone is so tough to handle and we wish you and your sisters peace and comfort for the days ahead.
As for your mother’s friend – it sounds like she started planning this celebration of life service before she discussed it with you and your sisters. There is nothing wrong with having more than one service with different guest lists even if some people are invited to both. However, since your mother just passed and you have not yet had the memorial service for her this person should not have done this without asking you and your sisters first.
I think the best thing to do at this point is to call her and simply ask her to hold off on her plans (don’t send the invitations) until you have had your private gathering to honor your mother. (I assume your plans have been announced to those included.) I wouldn’t worry about the people who will be invited to both services – these were close friends of your mother’s and will certainly be there for you and your sisters as you deal with her loss.
It sounds like your mother was a wonderful person to have so many friends who want to celebrate her life, and I hope that will also bring you comfort knowing she was loved by so many.
You can combine the ashes from two people – you do not need a funeral provider to do this for you. If you have the cremated remains of your sister’s son, then once she is cremated, you can combine the ashes which are in a plastic bag inside the container that is returned to you.
The cost you would have is for your sister’s cremation and perhaps a biodegradable container for scattering or depositing the ashes in the ocean. To locate a cremation provider in Miami, Florida – here is a link to providers in our search directory:
https://www.funeralwise.com/search-app/cremation/florida/miami
Since the son invited you all to the luncheon then it is appropriate to go. It is not uncommon these days to be able to attend only one of the funeral events, and I think it is special that you will able to honor the deceased by attending the luncheon.
I’m not sure what state this cremation center is in, but from what you wrote it does not sounds like you had the proper experience of prepaying for a cremation. I have no idea why they would have asked for an insurance policy that your mother already had to use for this cremation contract. It also sounds like they did not sell you what you wanted.
We always caution people before signing prepaid funeral contracts to be sure of what the terms of the contract are and that you are buying what you requested.
I am sorry you are in this situation, and if the cremation center is not being helpful, then I would consult an attorney on this matter to see if there is anything you can do to undo it.
That’s a good question! We haven’t found any site that specifically caters to a Celebration of Life yet, but there are a few that might work for what you need. We suggest trying Legacy.com or caringbridge.org.
Hi Katie,
Definitely call the funeral home right away – most likely, this is a typo that they are not aware of yet. Tell them who you are and that you noticed the wrong PO Box number was listed (this is a very quick and easy fix for an online obituary) and give them the correct number.
There is nothing tacky about requesting the correction – neither you nor the funeral home want people sending checks to the wrong address.
It’s great that your mom is making plans for her service – that is very thoughtful and wise of her to do that.
To answer your question, I have to ask a question – at the time of her death, will there be any obituary or notice posted on the internet by anyone? (funeral home website, newspaper, Facebook, etc.) If so, I think there’s a good chance the nieces and nephews will learn about it. This would give them the chance to attend the service which is perfectly okay – as it sounds like your mother just didn’t want them to feel obligated.
Either way – I think you would be fine to send out prayer cards after the service to any extended family who did not attend her service.
A cemetery will generally allow up to 2 additional rights of interment for a grave space. (When a grave is purchased, it is actually a “right of interment” that is bought which is intended for the burial of one casket.)
Since there are already 2 burials in the same space (neither with a casket), I would check with the cemetery to be sure of what they will allow. The normal fees assessed for this kind of burial are:
1. Additional Right of Interment (the right for the remains to be buried in the space)
2. Opening & Closing Fee (labor charge for the burial of the remains)The cemetery can give you the pricing for these fees.
